From me to you

      You left me when i needed you the most,              Now i have learned to live without your                      Love and support.....         

Hiii, There is a girl in our neighbourhood. She is 10 years old. And she is my  friend. Whenever she comes from school, she comes to our house directly. She talks to me a lot. And probably about everything. She likes my books and although she does not understand anything, she loves looking at them. I think this is good thing. She is best in school, very genius girl. Best in talking, talks to everyone. But there is one thing she is not best in and that is "Dreaming". She does not dream or maybe she does but knows that her dreams are not meant to be fulfilled. And you know what is the most bizarre thing is that marriage is the topic of the talk between a father and a daughter when the daughter is just 10 years old. When i asked her what she wants to be when she gets older, she said that she will get married as soon as she turns 18 so she does not think about anything. Although she said that she thinks about being a teacher. When i heard that, i said to her, "so what...

This is happening again. This self hatred is killing me. I don't know but i am feeling so bad. Usually when this happens, i try to comfort myself through books but today that is also not working. I  am feeling ugly. I don't want to do anything and just want to cry so hard. And if you may wondering what happened to the job, did i get it or not, so the simple answer is NO. I didn't got that job and that is also a reason for me to judge my self worth. I am not able to do anything. I think my lack of confidence is never going to let me achieve my dreams. I just can't get out of my house. This anxiety is not bearable now. I think i am not good enough, not good enough to do anything. Amd i don't have anyone in my life who can help me get out of all this. But i think nobody is going to be in my life because when somebody tries, i just close all the doors possible to enter my life. But today i need that comfort. Somebody to hold hands with, somebody to share mt a...

Hii, Tomorrow is rather a very scary day in my life as tomorrow is my life's first ever interview. I don't know how i am going to face all those unknown people and not cry. And the fact that this is my first interview, is an added pressure. I don't know how these things work. My heart is beating so fast. I am about to cry. I really want a place in the world where you don't have to grow up and do these grown up things. A world where you don't need money to survive. Why people have to do jobs and why they just can't sit in house and read. But somewhere deep down  in my heart i  know that this is the chance i have to just take myself out of this dark shell of anxieties. I have to be strong.  Uhhhh!! my heart just can't stop beating so fast. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Just keeping my fingers cross and worrying till tomorrow. I want tomorrow's day to just go in a blink. OH MY GOD......

                                        Stay, don't go !                   I said                            When she was going away.                  That was the first time                  She didn't hear me,     And we've never talked after that..                                         – my mother

hiii, today i want to talk about one book that i mentioned in last post and that is " milk and honey" by " rupi kaur". this is my first ever poetry book that i read and i think i am going to read more poetry books after this one. i know so many people didn't like this poetry book because of the way it is written. some people said that it is an inspirational quotes book and not a poetry book. i got to know that this is a free verse poetry book and people were saying that if you write anything in the name of free verse poetry, it just does not make it a poem. so i don't know how to judge a poetry because this is my first one and i kust want to say that if after reading this book, i indulge myself into reading more poems than i don't think it is that bad of a book. this book has opened another world of books that was close for me so i think i should like this book. in my opinion this is book that depends on how you take it. this book has poems(quotes) ...

Hii, I started reading books about an year ago. At that time i didn't knew that i will stick towards reading or not, or its going to be an another failed crush of mine. Yes, that happens to me a lot. Once i am interested in something and the other day i just might don't even want to look at that or even think about that. But luckily this didn't happened with me reading books and honestly, i didn't wanted to get bored of it and i think this is the only thing which  relaxes me, which makes me forget the rest of the world and their problems and makes me live in that moment, in that story, in those characters. And i hope God doesn't take this thing away from my mind.    So now lets talk about those books which let this thing happen. Which let me love reading more. These are not the books that were published in 2018 but those books which i read this year as this is just my first year. Some of these books you might not like as though they might not impressed you so m...